I'm linking up with Kristin again for Baby Talk. This link up couldn't have come at a better time for me. I've got lots to talk about in regards to being pregnant, the baby's arrival, and what life will be like once we are a family of three + Dupree of course!
Today I want to talk about what life will be like once our baby arrives. And more focused on what marriage will be like. I've had some amazing conversations with friends who have babies and the resounding statement is "It's hard." I want to be realistic about this and not be naive, saying that Ryan and I are different from everyone else and that we'll be fine. Nothing could change our incredible marriage. But reality is, life changes you and your marriage. Some of the strongest couples we know have shared stories of fights, struggles, and how marriage is simply different.
I SO badly want nothing to change- only get better. I love our marriage and I'm so happy. So the thought of things changing and being harder, more difficult is sort of daunting. I have to be realistic and prepared. I know, I know- nothing can prepare me/us for the changes ahead. And I'm not trying to sound negative- perhaps the changes that will come will be amazing and of course bring new joy and elements to our marriage but I want to be realistic and prepared.
I've heard of families falling apart once all the kids are out of the house because husbands and wives don't know how to be married anymore. They know how to parent together but they have lost their marriage. I certainly don't want that. I want our marriage to stay fresh, exciting, spicy, and connected.
So I'm asking for your advice. What have you found to be the hardest? What has worked for your marriage? I'd love to hear your thoughts, advice, or stories. Thanks!
I SO badly want nothing to change- only get better. I love our marriage and I'm so happy. So the thought of things changing and being harder, more difficult is sort of daunting. I have to be realistic and prepared. I know, I know- nothing can prepare me/us for the changes ahead. And I'm not trying to sound negative- perhaps the changes that will come will be amazing and of course bring new joy and elements to our marriage but I want to be realistic and prepared.
I've heard of families falling apart once all the kids are out of the house because husbands and wives don't know how to be married anymore. They know how to parent together but they have lost their marriage. I certainly don't want that. I want our marriage to stay fresh, exciting, spicy, and connected.
So I'm asking for your advice. What have you found to be the hardest? What has worked for your marriage? I'd love to hear your thoughts, advice, or stories. Thanks!
Hello Kari! I think one of the hardest things for Mom to do is leave the baby, even with a trusted loved one like Grandma, for a few hours to go out on a date with Dad! Just because a husband doesn't cry at all hours does not mean he does not want your focused love and attention too. Lunch or dinner out is a great way to reconnect. A date night may seem like a no-brainer, but when a little person takes over your every thought, it can be really hard to realize how much the whole family might need a little break to recharge. Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteOh girl, this was my BIGGEST fear about having a baby! We're definitely still trying to figure things out but I will say it gets easier! Your relationship definitely changes but for us it was in an incredible way! Seeing Jason with our daughter gives me joy I could have never imagined. You definitely have to make time for the two of you...whether its a glass of wine and movie after the baby goes to sleep or going out on a date every once and a while. Just give yourself a break the first couple of months to get used to your mini new roommate and don't beat yourself up if the two of you aren't as connected as you were before. It's a HUGE adjustment but soon your family of three (+ Dupree) will be your normal and you will learn to balance all of your relationships. As always, I'm here to chat if you need me! :)
ReplyDeleteThe best pieces of advice I read was not to hover when it's your husband's turn to change a diaper or rock her. Also, remember to show him affection. You may feel like you have no more cuddles left to give but your husband needs them as well and it will remind you that you're part of a team in this whole parenting business.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! It's the most amazing experience ever.