Transitions

Transitions seem to come all the time for Colin!  As soon as we master one thing, we are on to the next transition.  Did someone just say 'welcome to parenthood?'  I feel like a revolving door that never stops spinning!  Transitions weren't that hard while I was at home during maternity leave but when I went back to work, all of a sudden transitions took on a whole life of their own.  

A few weeks before I went back to work- right around Christmas time- I got the silly idea that I HAD to have Colin sleeping in his crib for both naps and bedtime.  Let me say that I completely failed at this but I started off on the wrong foot too: the week of Christmas!  Mom fail!  I started by putting Colin in his crib for naps once he was asleep.  That went fine actually.  When he would wake up, I would rock him back to sleep and continue his nap in his crib.  Then we had the whirlwind of Christmas celebrations so any chance for learning this new skill went out the window.  

So the week after Christmas I thought I would really start some 'sleep training' so that Colin could learn to get himself to sleep in his crib and just maybe he could be sleeping in his crib by the time I went back to work.  I was okay with letting Colin cry it out and we would both last about 25-30 minutes before I would completely give in and go pick him up and rock him to sleep.  I was really good about letting him cry for 5 minutes, going to sooth him, let him cry again for 6 minutes, soothing, cry for 7 minutes... you get it right?  Well I really tried but when I went to get Colin and he had worked him up so much I knew there was no way he was going to fall asleep without snuggling.  So this failed and I didn't like watching Colin get so worked up and distressed.  I didn't want him to wonder where I was or why his mama wasn't rescuing him.

So after a really good discussion, Ryan and I agreed that crib sleeping wasn't necessary at that moment since the next week Colin was going to be staying home with his nannies while I went back to work.  That would be a big enough transition.  Going back to work had its own challenges-- bottle feeding.  Colin has been taking a bottle from Ryan every night since week 5.  No problem.  He has had babysitters give him a bottle when we have gone out.  But enter the protest to take a bottle during the day.  When I went back to work I tried my best not to check in with my sister, my MIL, and my mom who each had Colin during the week.  I knew they were all capable of taking care of him and he would be in good hands.  But I was quickly made aware of the fact that my son refused to take a bottle and would hold out until I got home.  I also took a strong stance and refused to nurse him when I got home and instead would give him the bottle.  The other strange thing was that Colin would take a bottle at night from other people.  It was just during the day with his nannies that was the struggle.  

Colin was totally used to nursing during the day and bottle feeding at bedtime so we had to make a new transition to full time bottles and minimal nursing.  We did a little weaning but luckily Colin picked up this new skill relatively quickly.  Within a week or so, we had no issues with Colin taking bottles from his nannies and still nursing in the middle of the night.  Praise the Lord!

I was a nervous wreck though the week and a half that Colin was struggling to take bottles.  I called Kristin for advice, I called my pediatrician for suggestions and I called our friend who is a pediatric nurse for a little help too.  I googled, I cried, and I snuggled Colin like crazy.  I felt awful.  I felt bad for the wonderful women who were taking care of Colin- they struggled to feed him and did everything they could.  My mom even considered making a picture of my face and holding up in front of hers while she fed him to make him feel better- don't worry she didn't do this!  My sister went up in the nursery every time to feed him so he might think it was his normal bed time routine.  And my mother in law, changed diapers, changed positions, adjusted the milk temperature.  They did it all so I felt like a bit of a failure of a mom that I hadn't prepared Colin for this transition.  And of course I felt bad for Colin.  He wasn't eating when he needed to and I'm sure he was wondering 'where's mom?'  The saving grace in all of this was that Colin seemed happy as could be without eating.  I would come home, 2.5-3 hours after when Colin should have eaten and there he was cooing, smiling, and talking.  He wasn't crying or screaming.  He just wasn't taking his bottle.  I was thankful that he was a happy baby and all things considered he did pretty well transitioning.

So to date- we still aren't sleeping in the crib at night.  He is in his bassinet in our room.  And naps are hit or miss for in the crib.  When I'm home with Colin I try to get him to sleep and then nap in the crib but when his nannies are here I've just been letting him sleep in his swing.  He LOVES sleeping in his swing!  

So what did I learn? One transition at a time.  AND it is so hard not to compare yourself to other mamas and babies.  I'm jealous of the mamas who had babies sleeping thru the night, in their crib after 8-10 weeks (CAROLYN!)      And I keep thinking about the mamas who have a stock of milk to last them the next month.  But sleeping, eating, and pumping aside- I have a happy, healthy baby.  And I wouldn't trade that for the world!  We'll figure out sleeping someday :)

Today I'm linking up with Kristin!