Diving has been a part of my life for 17 years now! Wow! Does that make me feel old! As I transitioned from being the athlete to being the coach there are so many things I have learned. Lessons that will forever impact my coaching style and likely how I parent one day too. So here they go:
DISCLAIMER: I don't know everything about coaching, my ways are not always right, I am NOT a perfect coach. These are just some lessons I've learned and my point of view on a few things. :)
#1 The relationship between coach and diver is BEYOND important.
This goes without saying for all athletes. However as I had incredible coaches throughout my career who really invested in me; I know how important the relationship is. All of my coaches knew my family, knew my social life, and knew how to make me succeed. They knew I was emotional- who doesn't?! And they knew exactly how to handle me- with care! It was by their examples that I know my own divers need me to invest in them, in their lives, in order for us to succeed as a team. I still chat with my three favorites quite frequently: Mike Hilber- my club coach, Mike Yasis- my high school coach, and Tom Stover- my college coach. All three made it to our wedding and I just had to get these pictures with them! I love these guys- they are beyond special to me!!
What practice more frequently looked like. Me in tears and them all frustrated! Sorry guys :)
And we just couldn't resist!
#2 What is good for one athlete may not be good for everyone
Diving is such an individual sport and to give the same practice to all your athletes is not productive. So many times coaches say everyone has 10 front dives (just say) and to be really honest little Sally probably should do front dives all day but little George only needs to do like 3 because that is his best dive. It's frustrating to see our athletes not get individualized practices. A good coach should be able to put together such a practice.
#3 Parents are the biggest cheerleaders!
My parents were my biggest cheerleaders. And I think back to how frustrating it was at the time, to have especially my dad always telling the coaches to push me harder. But he was my biggest fan. He believed in me more than anyone else. And my mom faithfully sat in the bleechers, cheering me on, and holding her breath for every dive. Even still, my dad truly believes I could have made the Olympics. He really thought I could do it! Unfortunately I never had the heart to train that hard but having the confidence of my parents that I could be the best meant the world to me.
#4 Parents are not the coach!
#3 leads me into #4. One of my biggest pet peeves and I know that it's frustrating beyond all get up for other coaches is when parents start telling us how to coach, what dives for their kids to do, and what little Sally doesn't like doing. UGH! I could just scream at this! Don't get me wrong- I LOVE the parents who are involved, know what is going on, and even check in with me on a consistent basis to know how their kid is doing. I love that! I love an involved parent. But when a parent comes on the pool deck, starts coaching their kid behind my back or tells me what little George should compete this next weekend at the meet- I think instant steam comes out of my ears!! Again different even when a parent tells me that little Sally is scared to do a new dive- that's fine, we'll work through it. But when they tell me what to do and how to do it- I just don't appreciate it. As a parent, you are to be your kid's biggest fan, biggest cheerleader. And I am supposed to coach. Thank you. (Stepping off my soapbox now.)
#5 What about the mental game?
There is always a mental game to sports but for me, diving was 95% mental and probably only 5% physical. I suspect most teenage girls are the same. Believing in yourself if hard to do, especially between the ages of 9-21. Coaching the mental game of diving is important. Building up self confidence and teaching the mental advantage is priceless to competition. I know a lot of people probably thought that when I walked into a diving meet, I had a chip on my shoulder and they might have called me a naughty word. But you know what I believed in myself and I thought everyone else was out to beat me. I was the top dog and I had the target on my back. Now was that always true? No- I just believed it and in my gut I knew I could win!
#6 Be a gracious winner or loser.
So I didn't always win. In fact I probably didn't even win 50% of all my diving competitions. But I learned a lesson my senior year of high school that I will forever remember. I was favored to win state that year. I had won the state meet as a junior and so I was ready to defend my title. And I had the title up until the last dive. I was edged out by less than 2 points. And I smiled. I hugged my coach Mike as we had a really good 4 years of high school diving and we left all that we could in the pool. I was happy to have finished high school diving and I was happy that I did my best at the state meet. I tried my hardest to defend my title but that day was for someone else. I could have broken down and I could have had a sour-puss face on the podium but that wouldn't have been very humble. Instead, I smiled, I waved and I graciously hugged the new state champion. It was in this, that people saw my character. And I learned to be gracious.
#7 Don't be afraid to ask for help
Some coaches think they are God's gift to their athletes and sport. Shocking right?! Well I very opening admit that I don't know everything. I'm not good at everything. And I won't be a perfect fit for every athlete. But I will admit when I need help and when another coach will be a benefit to my athlete. During my four years of coaching high school divers I brought in my own high school coach each season to coach with me every once in a while. He would spot the new divers for reverse dives, he would notice things that I don't see in a daily practice and he would also give me a confidence that I was doing a good job. Mike has brought me in to guest coach with him too and my old college teammate Anna has asked me to come in and watch her divers too. Sometimes we see the same things every day and we miss important pieces of a dive. Or perhaps the way that I say something to a diver doesn't make sense but the way another coach says something will click. Using your resources around you and getting assistance from others in the field is a huge benefit to me as a coach and to my athletes.
#8 Encourage, Encourage, and Encourage some more!
They (whoever they is!) say that kids need 80% positive feedback and 20% constructive criticism. And I have found that to be pretty true of coaching too. Kids thrive on positive feedback! I know I did! If you told me 3 things I did well and 1 thing I could work on- I probably did the next dive better! But if you told me everything that I did wrong and nothing that I did right- I probably cried. Yes, I was emotional! My husband says I sound like I was needy and I probably was but the reality was that if I was encouraged and praised, I would do more and do better!
#9 Diving is a small community!
I can't speak for all sports but swimming and diving is a pretty small community. And diving is even smaller! We all know each other, athletes and coaches. We've all heard of each other. But within this small community families are created. And I can say that my diving family is one of the biggest blessings in my life! Kathryn's wedding this last summer was a perfect example of this. Kevin, Shaun, Kathryn and I all started diving together when we were 10 and 11 years old. Now we have all stood up in Kathryn's wedding and they have all stood up in mine. We have stayed in touch while going to school in California, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Connecticut and New York!
The whole crew with parents and spouses and boyfriends!
And my college diving friends too!
Lauren, Brandon, and Anna!
#10 Coaching is so rewarding!
I don't think I'd have the patience to be a teacher. Working with high school kids 8 hours a day would be a little much but coaching is a perfect fit for me! I love mentoring my athletes. I love building relationships with them. I love when sharing their highs and lows. And I love the emotions that come over me when my athlete accomplishes something that was once impossible to them or something really hard to overcome! In 4 years of coaching high school diving and now 2 years of club coaching I've had so many of these moments!
...winning sections, making state finals, learning the hard dives, having my high school divers call me late at night because they want to come over to my house and model their new homecoming dress ;), when I get a card from an athlete thanking me for being more than their coach but also their friend, having a parent say that I made a difference.... all very very rewarding!
Sunday the 23rd we had dinner with my parents at Bacio to celebrate their home sale and new home purchase. Ryan was their agent and did a really great job taking care of all the details. As soon as my parents move into the new house I will certainly write a post about the new country home!
